Quick Reflection

Where do I even begin…

This past decade has brought so many big changes in my life, as I’m sure it has with whoever is reading this. I have grown exponentially in a relatively short amount of time, and I feel like I have learned a lifetime’s worth of wisdom, yet I’m only 27. I can’t imagine what more this life has in store for me, but I’m prepared to move along with a full head of steam to help create the life that I have always wanted to live. For the majority of the 2010’s I felt like I just sat in the backseat, and let life steer me where ever it wanted to take me while I just stared out the window, content with everything that passed by. But those days are in the past. For the next 10 years, I’ll be in control. I will determine where this life takes me. And there’s nobody that will stop me.

In the past decade I have: graduated high school, gone away to college, dropped out of college, felt lost in the world, had my heart broken a few too many times, lost my mom and other loved ones, had to relearn how to walk and talk, lived in a van twice (once in another state),  quit countless jobs, made awful financial decisions, and lived in a world that I felt I had no control over. Yet throughout all of that, I ended up finding myself, and falling in love with myself. I started to turn my life around, one healthy decision at a time. It started with a simple diet change. It turns out, if you stop eating a giant bag of Cheeto Puffs and a bottle of Mello Yello regularly, you’ll start to feel much better about yourself. Who’da thunk? I started becoming aware of my body, and everything I did to it and put into it. I started exercising more, which was necessary because I was no longer playing soccer or defending my title as Gym Class Hero. Once I started taking care of my physical wellness, I started realizing that my mental wellness started taking a huge turn for the better. Then I discovered the power of journaling, and started to read books. And I mean ACTUALLY read books! I hadn’t read an entire book since probably the second grade. Cliff Notes and summarizing the 5-minute pre-class rundown from classmates had gotten me through school, and I had always thought that was good enough. I started to travel a little bit, and get out of my bedroom and hometown. Seeing the world (even if it’s just a few towns over) and making new discoveries on your own will really help ignite your imagination and leave you hungry for more real life experiences. Speaking of real life experiences, I slowed down my video game completion rate. I discovered that there are much more fulfilling and rewarding adventures to be had using your own two feet and eyes than there are to be had using your own two thumbs and a headset. Also, slaying your fears IRL is way cooler than slaying Alduin the World-Eater in Skyrim.

Perhaps the largest takeaway from the last decade is just how big of an impact the people you choose to surround yourself with will have on your life. I have had a countless number of people come and go in my life, and that’s perfectly okay. I think it’s necessary, because everybody is living their own lives, at their own pace, and there are ebbs and flows for all of us. Some people are perfect matches to help us develop ourselves in certain seasons of our lives, but aren’t necessarily perfect matches for what comes next, and that, too, is okay. Some people will come and go repeatedly, some people will stick around forever, but most people will only make a short appearance in your life. Just make sure that you are being particularly picky with who you keep around and who gets your attention.

Another huge thing I learned how to do before the end of the decade was how to just simply show love. To yourself, to your friends, to everything and everyone. And to express your gratitude and appreciation openly. Once you start putting those things out into the world, the world will start showing those things right back to you. It’s very much so a case of “you get what you give”, and I have never felt so much love and appreciation in my life as I have these last few months. My friend group is stronger and better than ever, my mental wellness is better overall, and I’m by far the happiest I’ve ever been. I quit a job that was dragging me down mentally in pursuit of happiness, and so far that is exactly what I have found. At first I was afraid to quit that job because I wasn’t sure if I’d be able to make ends meet, but then I remembered that most of the things you want in life lie just on the other side of fear.

Lastly, make sure you keep dreaming and never stop learning. Make travel plans, buy a plane ticket, have a vision for your future, read a book, write things down. Take the necessary steps you need to in order to become exactly what you want to be when you grow up. If you love someone, tell them. If you want a hug, ask for one. If you want to move across the country, just do it. Life will always figure itself out, and time will keep on passing us by. Go for the things you’ve always wanted already! Nobody else can do it for you. What are you waiting for?

 

2 Years.

Hey mom, it’s me.

Just wanted to check in with you to let you know what I’ve been up to since last year. I’ve grown so much. Not vertically. We know it has been a solid 10+ years since that has happened. But as a person. A lot has happened to me. Some good, some bad. Mostly good though. Being your crazy kid, I’m sure you don’t even know what type of stories to expect. I was always full of surprises. But that’s why you loved me, isn’t it? One thing I’m sure you’ll be happy to hear is that I’m no longer living in a van! But that might actually change soon because now I have a new van that is so much better than the last one. You’ve probably seen pictures of it by now. Wait until I tell you all of the plans I have with this one. I know you’ll be excited about those. You’ll also love to hear about my first trip out of the country. Frankie, Chris and I went to Bermuda earlier this year! I had absolutely no idea what the actual plans were. Frankie just called me and told me to order plane tickets for such and such dates, so I did. I let those 2 knuckleheads plan the rest and then just followed their lead. Crazy, right? Now if I can only convince dad and Justin to hop on a plane with me… wish me luck on that one. I’m sure you’d also like to hear about our successful-but-failed hike up Mt. Marcy in the snow. Or maybe you don’t want to hear that one because that one almost turned out really bad. I should probably keep some of these crazy adventures to myself.
One thing I know you’ll be super happy to hear is that I’ve finally fallen in love! Sure, I’ve been in love a few other times, and this last year has been one hell of a roller coaster ride on the dating front for me. But the person I’m in love with now won’t be leaving me. I have been afraid to fall in love with someone who you didn’t know before, just because part of me felt that would be wrong. But I assure you, you know this person, because that person is me. I’ve finally gotten to a point where I like myself enough and know myself enough to be in love with myself. I accept each and every part of me for what they are (or “what I am”? These are hard sentences to write). I love my scars, and my faults, and my shortness, and my bowed legs, and my smile, and my positive attitude. I just simply love me, and I think it’s such a beautiful thing. Too many people go around looking for their one true love, their happily ever after, yadda yadda yadda. But shouldn’t we all fall in love with ourselves first? I don’t know. Too much rambling.
On the flip side, I still have absolutely no idea what I want to do with my life. I’m 26 and still lost. You were 26 when you had me. How…? Do you have any advice? I know you always said you wanted me to be a photographer, and I definitely plan to give that a go. I’m making friends here and there that are either photographers or models, so I’m taking the right steps. They might be baby steps, but progress is progress. Ideally I’d like a job that will allow me to travel the world and meet so many different people and bring smiles to their faces. Money isn’t really a concern for me. As long as I can eat decent food, drink clean water, and have a smile on my face, I’ll be a happy man. So whenever you get a new idea, feel free to send me a sign somehow. I’d appreciate it.
This hasn’t gotten easier by the way. It’s still just as hard today to wake up and go about my day without you as it was yesterday, or 6 months ago, or last year. They say time heals all wounds, but I don’t think this one can really heal. This one has just left a big scar. Like one of those big scars that movie villains have from getting their face sliced open near their eyes. Ya know? It’s impossible to ignore. You notice it everyday. You just have to learn to live with it. And I think I’m doing a damn good job at that.
I think I’ll end this letter here. I’ll tell you more in my journal tonight. Just know that I miss you. And that I love you to the moon and back.

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Follow me on social media if you haven’t already. I’d love to hear your feedback! @whiteythitey

How Do I Stay Positive?

I’ve been asked this question a lot throughout my life, especially in the last couple of years. I’ve always been known as the kid who never stops smiling. Which I suppose is not such a bad thing to be known for. For as long as I remember I’ve had such a positive outlook on everything in life, and there isn’t much that seems to be able to bring me down. Or at least keep me down. Even through all the heartbreaks and tragedies I’ve had to endure, I still bounce right back with an enthusiastic smile, ready to take on whatever life throws at me next. But how?

I think it all stems from a solid worldly awareness and understanding of perspective. I know without a shadow of a doubt that no matter how bad things seem to get for me, someone out there has it much worse than me. After all, my life hasn’t been that bad. I mean, look at me now: I’m a pretty darn healthy, 26 year old white kid, who sells Porsches for a living. It could be much worse. I know my place in the world, and I consider myself awfully damn lucky to be where I am today.

Another thing I do is I ensure that I am doing at least one thing every single day that I absolutely love. Whether it be making “my” younger siblings laugh, or going to watch a sunset, or talking to an old friend. Those types of things need to be done everyday. I go on bigger adventures as often as possible, but I need something to fill the gaps in between. Physical activity plays a huge role on your overall mental state, so make sure you break your habit of work, dinner, tv, bed every once in a while. I like to mix it up and go rock climbing, or bomb around on my nickel board, or even go throw my boomerangs (yes, they really come back.) Taking even just a few minutes each day to release that inner child in you does wonders for your well being. Trust me.

I’m also a student of life, and I love learning. Every experience I have, whether it be positive or negative, is a learning point for me. It can be something as mundane as how to keep a hard taco shell from busting apart upon first bite, to something as life altering as how to stand up for myself when I’m being treated in ways I shouldn’t be. See, I’m trying to better myself every single day. Not just for myself either. I do it for my future self, my future wife, my future family, for the betterment of my friends around me. For a lot of reasons. And I find it so interesting to look back at how far I’ve come. It’s humbling, and makes me proud of myself.

Another thing that makes it so easy for me to stay positive all the time is the fact that I know when to speak up and ask for help. I’m not too proud to do it. I’m not fearful of how people might react. I just do it. I take ownership of my mental state, because I know that my mind is the foundation of my being. And if that becomes compromised, the rest of me becomes compromised. Being that I tend to view everything in life starting at it’s core (foundation), I’m aware of when things need to be taken care of. And I’m very thankful that I have people in my life who make it so easy to open up and discuss any issues I might have.

That kind of brings me to the last point. Just be thankful. Keep a gratitude journal. You’ll start to realize how many little things that you have going your way in life, and how blessed you are to just simply exist. Also, when you start oozing out positivity into those around you, they’ll start oozing positivity right back at you. It’s sort of a domino effect. You know that old saying, “I’m rubber and you’re glue. Whatever you say bounces off of me and back to you!”? Think of that, but not so literally, or immature.

I could probably go on and on about all of this and write a much better and elaborate piece for you guys. But it’s getting late and I have a stupid sales meeting to attend first thing in the morning, so I’m ending it here. Plus everybody is different, and needs to handle things their own way. So please don’t take this as a strict guide to solve your negative demeanor. Find your own way. If you want to discuss this any further, please reach out to me. Also, if you don’t have anyone to lean on and open up to about what’s going on in your life, reach out to me. I’ve always been a sort of therapist for all of my friends, and it’s something I love doing. So don’t hesitate.

And as always, if you’re not following me on Instagram, go take care of that: @whiteythitey

Questions Journal 2.0

It’s going to be a short one today. Here’s a bit of backstory for you:

While I was living in my van last fall, I made a significant change in my mindset. Or perhaps it was just a major realization. It’s something that I’d like to say I already realized before, but living in isolation, in a different state, with none of my family or friends around, with very limited space and possessions really drove it home. It was just the simple fact that people matter most in this world, and we should never under-value our friends, family, or any other ray of sunshine that comes into our lives, even if it’s only for twelve seconds. Life is too short to live as a stranger to those you care about. I started to think about my dad, my brother, my best friend. And I quickly realized that in the grand scheme of things, I don’t know crap about them. There are so many unanswered questions in my head, and I hate unanswered questions. Almost as much as I hate cheese.

Anyways, shortly after I returned home, I formulated what I called a “Question Journal”. I filled it with forty-something questions that I wanted to ask all of the people I considered important in my life. I only had a few people fill it out, and it made me so happy to just simply learn about the people I love. I have since lost that journal, which is fine because I’ve come up with more questions. Better questions.

So basically, I wrote all of this to let all of you know that I have put those questions into a file that I’d like to send to you via email. Yes. You. The person I don’t even know. Even if I do know you, I don’t actually know you. So send me your email address. Text me, email me, slide into my DMs. Whatever you got to do. But get it to me, so that I can get it to you, so that I can get to know you. It’s that simple.

(My contact info is under the “contact” tab on the top, I think)

Follow me on Instagram to visually see what else I’ve been up to: @whiteythitey

Also, click around and see what else I’ve written on here! Please and thanks!

Been a Minute.

I’m back! It’s been almost a year since I wrote something for my blog, and boy, oh boy, do I have some stories for you. I tried hiking Mt Marcy right after a snow storm, I went to Bermuda with the boys, I bought a new van! So much has happened in my life, I don’t know where I’ll even begin, but at least I’ll begin again.

See, I go through these weird lulls where I “want” to do all of these things (write blog posts, write poems, make videos, etc.) but I don’t commit myself to doing them. Heck, I don’t even religiously journal anymore. I’d like to. But I don’t. I’m not quite sure what it is, but I’ve at least acknowledged the problem, and am in the process of making an action plan to overcome it. I think part of it is that I don’t have anyone to hold me accountable. Which is foolish, because I should be able to hold myself accountable. But I don’t. So I need your help.

What I need from you is for you to send me a message telling me what topics you want me to talk about. It can be anything. Literally. I’ll talk about my travels, or my love life (or lack of), or the way I eat my food. You tell me a topic, you give me a deadline, we make this work. Because this whole blog doesn’t work without that symbiotic relationship. I write shit. You read shit. Boom. Blog. Sounds simple, but apparently I’m incapable of doing it on my own.

I’m excited to be writing for this blog again, because I need a creative outlet. Sure, I’m trying to focus a wee bit more on putting cool content on my Instagram (@whiteythitey), but that’s not enough for me. I’m not necessarily creating that content out of thin air. It’s literally just a picture on a screen of something, or someone, that already exists. I didn’t come up with it. I didn’t make it magically appear. I just clicked a button on my phone, adjusted some sliders while editing, and uploaded. And sure, I take great joy and pride in that, and I really do enjoy photography and appreciate its beauty and significance. But I’ve always loved writing. Yet I don’t spend like, any time writing. That’s what this is for. Now hold me accountable, please.

Now that I’ve rambled on and on about nothing…

This is where you come in. What’s the first topic you want me to write about? Whether it be something specific, or very broad, send me a message and let me know. I’m no longer saying please either. Just do it, dammit. And let’s create some content together.

One Year.

It’s been one year that I’ve been without you, and what a year it has been. The time has flown by, and you cross my mind every single day. So many ups and downs. So many obstacles that I’ve had to overcome. But here I am. Stronger than ever. Wiser than ever. More confident than ever. And I owe a lot of it to you. You taught me to always stand my ground. To fight for what I believe in. To never settle for anything less than what I deserve. I think if you were still here, you’d be proud of me (despite the fact that I’m living in a van). I think you would be able to look at me, and the life I’m creating for myself, and be truly happy. Even though I’m not a professional soccer player like I always said I would be growing up. Besides, I’ve always kind of been the odd ball of the family. I used to bring snakes in the house even though you hated them. I used to always climb trees in the backyard as far up as I possibly could. I rode my bike too far in front of you when we were on the road. I used to dress like a confused homeless person in 7^th grade. And I had a mullet for the greater half of my childhood. But no matter what, you always just let me be me. You encouraged me to go after whatever it was that I wanted, but would criticize my every move, only to make me better at it. The perfectionist inside of me today is thanks to you. It’s both a blessing and a curse, because it causes me to try my best and always work on self-improvement. At the same time, no matter what I do, it will never be perfect. I beat you in a banana bread bake off, but still wasn’t happy because I added my chocolate chips into the batter at the wrong time. You claimed adding chocolate chips was cheating, but I must have missed that part of the rule book. Anyways, I just wanted to take this opportunity to say, “thank you”. Thank you for helping mold me into the man that I am, and that I am becoming. I know I still had a lot that I could have learned from you, but I think I can take it from here. This strive for perfection is going to be my fuel for the rest of my life. I’ll be sure to keep you posted on everything that I have going on, even though I know you’re watching over me. I love you to the moon and back, Mom.

When I Return

In less than a month I will be returning back home from my job in Massachusetts. I will no longer be living in my van, aside from an occasional trip here and there. But this in no way means that I will return to abusing my access to the luxuries of life. I intend to live as simply as I do now, perhaps even more simply. Sure, I will be back in a house big enough for a family of 6 or more, and sharing it with just my dad and brother. However, I have every intention of selling or donating roughly 80% of all of my possessions. My bedframe will be gone. 2 of my 3 dressers will be gone, along with the clothes inside. My pellet guns I haven’t used in years, gone. Every single knick knack and useless item, gone. Unless it is essential to my everyday life, it will be gone. I’m currently reading Walden by Henry David Thoreau (highly recommended by the way) and it really puts a lot of things into perspective. Even just the first chapter on Economy will make you reassess the value you put on different items in your life. This is a man who, when the sun is shining in his window and making him get too hot, instead of buying a curtain, would rather seek the shade that nature has provided so as to avoid the unnecessary work of adding more housework for himself in tending to the curtain, aside from the small cost of the fabric needed to make a curtain. Perhaps that’s living too simplistic and frugal, but I dig it.

K.I.S.S. Keep It Simple Stupid. A motto I have tried to live by ever since Professor Titus told it to my geology class freshman year at college. It can be applied to every aspect of life, and used to increase the quality of nearly anything. I even use it with the soccer team I am coaching now. If you keep the game of soccer simple, it becomes so much easier and more fun to play. Perhaps the best ice cream I have ever eaten in my life is a simple 3-ingredient recipe that anyone can make. A timeless, and always accepted outfit for anyone: a plain white t-shirt and jeans. The amount of peer/societal pressure that gets placed upon us to “enhance” our lives is ridiculous. People don’t think for themselves anymore, and that is where our problem lies. We need not complicate our mortal existences with the augmentation of futile thingamajigs and gewgaws. <– see what I mean. Stupid.

When I return, I have 3 goals in mind. Firstly, as I said before, I will be living with my dad and brother. I will be taking a few weeks off of work to focus on myself. As it will be nearly winter, I will devote a portion of my time to finding and cutting firewood for our woodstove downstairs, and tending to the fire day in and day out. I will be cooking hot meals for the family every single day. In this time, I will really focus on keeping myself healthy, not just physically, but mentally as well. Doing what my mind and body wants to do, whenever it wants to do it. Secondly, as I have also said before, I will be selling or donating nearly all of my possessions. Unnecessary clutter adds unnecessary stress to your life. I don’t need that crap. But I will need the money. Which brings me to my last goal. I will be converting our unused “exercise room” to a work place for myself. I intend to make every piece of furniture by hand to ensure it has a much higher value to me. An art which I feel is all too lost in todays world. The workplace is going to be dedicated to creating content, in the form of blog posts, photography, and videography. I will be investing the majority of my savings into equipment for this, so I better make damn sure I stick with it and devote myself to it.

I have already realized the importance of networking and connecting with the people in my life. That includes my dad, as well as the gas station attendant who I see on a semi-regular basis. I find so much more joy in seeing someone laughing than I do in buying the latest Call of Duty. My actions need to start reflecting that notion. Rather than bragging about my kill:death ratio I got as a sniper in a video game, I need to start bragging about my laugh:frown ratio I got as a a friend during our last hangout. Maybe not literally, but you get the idea. I will be improving my quality of life by getting rid of all the crap that the world says will improve the quality of my life. I don’t want to live my life “As Seen On TV”. I want to live my life in whatever way feels best to me, which I should have been doing years ago. I have the ability to not give in to peer pressure, which most of you probably already know, seeing as how I’ve never drank a drop of alcohol, taking a single drag off a cigarette, or tried any drugs.

I cannot wait for when I return.

I’m A Wannabe

But I’m working on it. For whatever reason, I always have been. I want to be a photographer, racecar driver, Youtuber, blogger, an amazing friend/brother/son, a great coach, a mentor, a motivational speaker, a personal trainer, a world traveler, a carpenter, a scholar, a movie star, a singer, an author, and the list goes on and on. My mind has always worked in a way that has led me to believe that I am already good at something, therefore I don’t need to put in the work required to become better at it. That mindset has left me in a place where I am not actually all that great in any one area. I’m just mediocre. And that is weighing on me.

It’s time to prove myself. Right or wrong, it needs to be done. I already have the mindset of “I can, therefore I am”, which is exactly what I need. Now I need to put those thoughts into actions. If I want to be a great photographer, I need to take some damn pictures. If I want to be a Youtuber, I need to create some content. If I want to be the best me that I can be, I need to start doing, rather than daydreaming. And this goes back as far as I can remember. I never wanted to stand out from the pack. In elementary school when the teacher would ask us a question, even if I knew the answer, I wouldn’t raise my hand. I’d wait until the teacher gave the class the answer, then sit there at my desk proud of myself for knowing, but not acting upon it. This carried through all the way to my time at college. My final year there, in a high-level geology class, the professor asked us a basic question; what is the protolith of marble? I knew the answer, but didn’t say it. The whole class ended up getting scolded for at least 10 minutes for being in such a high-level geology class without knowing the answer to that question. And I just sat there all proud of myself for knowing the answer and not saying it.

I’ve been living my life all wrong. It is time to become that outstanding person that I know I can be. No more coasting through life as a mediocre individual. If I want to be great, if I want to be an expert, if I want to truly leave an impact on this world, I need to start doing the things I already believe I can. And I’m welcoming failures as much as I’m welcoming success. I’m at a pivotal point in my life where I need to know what I can and cannot do. If there are areas that I really excel in, perhaps I should be pursuing them. If there are areas that I’m not so great at, perhaps I should either put in the work to become better at it, or just scrap it altogether. I need to set my ego aside. I need to stop believing that I can do something, and just freaking do it. It’s a process, and I’m working on it.

What Really Matters

When you live in a van in a different state, where you don’t know anybody, and have loads of time to yourself, you think. You think about life and memories, about friends and family, about love and girls, about your plans and the future, about food and drinks. You think about things that matter, and things that don’t. You analyze more than you ever have, because you have time to. You wake up bright and early in the morning, start thinking your way into a deep rabbit hole, and before you know it it’s time to leave to coach soccer practice. You constantly catch yourself day dreaming about what you want out of life, and also about that amazing vegan meal you had last weekend. But what it all boils down to is being able to be stable in your own mind. Being isolated from the real world, lonely and anxious. But being surrounded by all your friends and family, and smiling inside your head. Watching your memories play over and over again like your favorite movie inside your mind’s eye to boost your spirits.  It’s when you get lost in this utopian world of memories that you start to realize what exactly it is that makes you happy. Not once have I thought about my Xbox One that I used to spend countless hours on, or about the MobiBlu Cube MP3 Player I thought I needed in 9^th grade. My 36” TV hasn’t crossed my mind once, nor have any of my pellet guns. My iPad has remained untouched since I’ve been here. And all of the clothes that I’ve spent good money on are all equally as forgotten about in my memories. What I do think about is all the people and the smiles I’ve come across in my lfie. The laugh I got out of Jess last weekend, the way Frankie and I can communicate without saying a word and bash the crap out of each other all day just for fun, the way I danced like a fool right beside my brother at my cousin’s wedding, the long talks I’ve had with Keanna, the times my mom taught me new dessert recipes, working on my Studebaker with my dad, wrestling with Cooter (that’s my dog, you sick freak), making deals with Frankie’s little siblings, reminiscing on childhood memories with Drew. If you haven’t made this list, don’t feel bad. I promise you you’re still playing in my mind. I just can’t write a never-ending blog post.

What I’m saying is that people need to stop placing value on “stuff”. You’ve heard it all before. “You can’t take those things with you when you die”. And I don’t want to sound like a broken record, but, come on now. When you boil life down to it’s basics, which is kind of forced upon you when you live in a van, you start to realize what matters. You change your perspective on everything in life. Money loses value, clothes lose value, stuff loses value. On the flip side, friends exponentially gain value, connecting with people exponentially gains value, yourself exponentially gains value. If I can smile when I’m on my last gallon of gas on the Mass Turnpike, haven’t showered in a couple of days, haven’t eaten in 10 hours, with my phone battery on 3%, quite literally only $37.61 in my checking account, with broken suspension and fuzzy radio reception in my home on wheels, all just because I remembered when Frankie and I almost broke Tom’s table decoration when we were playing with a ball at nearly midnight, I think you can find peace when you don’t have enough money for the new iPhone X. I challenge you to make a list of all the things in life that matter to you. Then make a list of all of the “stuff” you have laying around your home. Just spend time analyzing these lists, and please let me know how it goes! My contact info is linked on my blog somewhere!

our strongest tool.

7/30/2017

2:34pm

 

why are we afraid to interact with people?

 

we all know that pulling up to the light on hiawatha blvd where you get on 81 north, seeing a homeless person is inevitable. well i just raced my way to the light just in time for it to turn red. i was first in line and saw a homeless guy i’ve never seen before. he kinda looked like that meme of the guy on the history channel saying “aliens”. i immediately turned my radio off knowing i would have at least 1 minute before the light turned green. i looked at him with his unbuttoned shirt and his cardboard sign that read “nobody is perfect” and said “how’s it going, man?” and that’s all it took to remind him that he’s human too. why is that so hard for people to do? whether it’s a homeless person begging for that pocket change you don’t need or an elderly man sitting alone on a bench at the park or a mother at the grocery store battling with her kids to get them to quiet down so she can hear the feedback of her light taps on a watermelon to see if it’s at peak ripeness. this is where society falls short. i don’t know if it’s due to all the screens we have surrounding our lives. in our hands, in our pockets, on every wall in every direction you look. or maybe it’s this abnormal fear that the person whose ears are hearing your words is somehow going to transform into a monster and belittle you or even worse, offend you. or maybe it’s a fear of awkward situations. like we need a thoroughly thought out word track for how we want to steer the conversation because we are afraid of not having everything in our lives planned out for us. or just the sense of pride and selfishness that tells us we don’t need that human interaction. even if the other person would benefit from it as if we were pulling them out from underwater. we just can’t bring ourselves to do it.

this is how my conversation went, verbatim:

“how’s it going, man?” – me

“i’m trying to get to where you are, driving a bmw and what not” – aliens man

“oh trust me, you don’t want all of this. it desensitizes you. *slight pause as he didn’t know what to say* look, i just bought a 1995 chevy van that i’m going to be living in for the next few months”

“come join us man!” he said as he laughed and pointed to his 2 other friends sitting in the shade.

“maybe i’ll come visit you at some point!” i said with a laugh. even though i was dead serious.

“the world needs more people like you” he said with the biggest smile on his face. he approached the car with an outstretched arm looking for a handshake. i obviously obliged and looked him in the eyes.

“thank you very much, dude. i appreciate that greatly” the light turned green and i nodded as i let my clutch out. with the same huge smile on his face, he reached his hand into the air to say goodbye and yelled: “not all homeless people are bad!”.

“that’s right!” i yelled back. i couldn’t agree more. with that parting phrase. with his sign. he made my day, and i’m sure i made his.

how much effort did that take? none. how much harm was i in? zilch. how awkward was that? 0%.

 

how happy am i that i did that? extremely. would i do it again? absolutely. am i better than that guy just because i have my shit together at this point in life? fuck no.

 

i challenge you, before the day is over, go talk to a stranger that looks like they could use a pick-me-up. ask someone how they are, and actually mean it. listen to them. give them feedback. give them encouragement. it doesn’t take much, and we all have the capability to help someone. so just do it. if you don’t see anyone in person before the day is over then make a phone call. send a text. send an email. slide into a dm. i don’t care how you do it. just do it. help someone in some way or another. our communication is one of the things that makes us human, and allows us to be rulers of the world. it is perhaps our strongest tool. use it. for good. please.

for the record: i don’t care what this guy looked like. i’m not trying to make fun of his appearance in any way. i’m just simply giving you a visual so you could connect more with the story. that is all.